Cell Block Redux
by pbow
Summary: This is my little drabble of less than 500 words (without author's notes) on how I believe the episode should have ended, instead of the anti-feminist one that ran on TV.
This is just my little take on what I think should've happened at the end of the episode, **Cell Block**. Of course I don't own any part of the franchise so I don't get paid for this brilliant story idea that's way less than five hundred words long. (Excluding the author's notes here and at the end of the story.)

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Cell Block Redux

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" _Boy_ _Power_ , _Boy_ _Power,_ _Boy_ _Power,"_ Beck, André, Robbie and Sikowitz chanted as they arrogantly strutted around the Black Box Theater, supposedly having just won the bet on who would use a cellphone first, the girls or the boys.

The bet had come to an end when Robbie walked into the room dressed ridiculously, complete with a toilet bowl seat around his neck and tutu around his waist. The teens all grabbed their cellphones to get a pic and post it on The Slap, but Tori, Jade and Cat found out it was a trick since the boys still had their phones turned off. It had all been a ruse with Sikowitz's help, with him siding with Robbie, André and Beck and the teacher declaring that he was, in fact, a boy.

"Hey, Sikowitz," Jade hollered out, putting a damper on the celebration and sending everyone's attention to the Goth girl.

"What is it, _Jade?"_ the eccentric teacher arrogantly questioned, walking over to the teen.

"Just a quick question or two."

Warily, Sikowitz said, "All right. Ask away." He still felt like he had the upper hand and didn't mind answering a few questions from his defeated foe.

Jade queried, "You have a cellphone. Right?"

"Of course I do," Sikowitz honestly answered. "You've seen me use my phone on different occasions."

"That's true," Jade said with a wicked smile. "So, when's the last time you _used_ it?" She already knew the answer. She'd seen the teacher on his cellphone earlier in the day just after class ended as everyone was leaving, talking with his girlfriend about what they were going to do that evening.

Sikowitz mumbled something with his head hanging low in shame. He immediately knew what Jade was getting at and was embarrassed to admit it. As a matter of fact, all of the group had seen him take out his phone, as the end of class bell rang, and use it.

But Jade would have none of his reluctance. She held her cupped hand to her ear, bent forward to lean in toward the teacher and jovially begged, "What did you say?"

Sikowitz let out an exasperated breath and moaned, "I used my phone earlier this morning, just after class."

Jade straightened up, crossed her arms triumphantly over her chest and defiantly asked, "And what does that mean?"

By that point, everyone in the Black Box knew what was about to happen. A huge smile broke out on Cat and Tori's faces and they gave each other a high-five as they shouted, _Girl_ _Power!"_ They quickly raced over and wrapped Jade in a congratulatory hug as Jade gloated, "That's right, _boys_. You _lose."_

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 **Author's Notes** : This is just a few thoughts on some of the glaring mistakes with the whole premise of this episode and a little history lesson thrown in, to boot. Read on if you're curious or move on to another story if you're not.

Since Sikowitz declared he was a boy, he would've been a member of the boy's team. Therefore he would've been subject to the same rules as the six teens in not using any technology created before 1973. It's highly unlikely that he didn't use a cellphone or other technology, such as a computer, while doing his job as a teacher, so I just fudged it a bit and said they all saw him using a cell.

The bet was not to use electronic media that was created after Sikowitz was born.

Therein lies the main problem with the premise.

You see, cellphones were first officially used in April of 1973 and Eric Lange, the actor who played Sikowitz, was born in February of 1973... The same year. While there are only two months separating Eric's birth and the first actual _outdoor_ call on a cellphone, I would call them even and say that they are of equal age and therefore the students should be able to use cellphones. (While the first _official_ cellphone call happened in April when one of the techs went outside the front doors of the building to test connection and distance issues, the technology would've been near completion months before, and I'd bet that quite a few calls were made within the lab prior to February, Eric's birth day.)

Also, André brought an old record player to school. Why not bring a much smaller audio cassette player? They were created in 1962, _years_ before Sikowitz came into this world. I would think his parents would still have a cassette player or two lying around along with at least a couple dozen pop or rock music cassettes from their youth.

As for Robbie and the old, well _ancient,_ manual typewriter he was using? Electric typewriters were created in 1902 and are much lighter and more portable than that heavy older manual model he was using. Sure you had to plug them in but there were a lot of models that came in a carrying case and only weighed five or ten pounds.

I will grant Robbie was allowed to use white-out since it was invented by Bette Nesmith in 1951. And yes, she is the mother of Michael Nesmith from the 70's pop/rock group The Monkees. (If you don't know who The Monkees were, look them up on the web. You'll be pleasantly surprised and LYFAO at antics from their TV show.)

One final little point. Tori had previously sang on the Platinum Music Awards show. Wouldn't she want to keep her cellphone to receive and return calls from music executives looking to sign her up? She obviously didn't sign with Mason Thornesmith since he was never mentioned after that double episode, but I would think other music companies would be interested in Tori after making such a big splash on world-wide television.

All-in-all this episode made little sense to me. Dan Schneider and his writers took everything to an extreme just to prove a sexist point of view; That boys are superior to girls. Pathetic!

But considering the role Dan played in the TV show he was in, playing Dennis Blunden in **Head Of The Class** , I can see his arrogance and dislike for women has been around for a long time. (My own person opinion.)

And yes, I know these author's notes are actually longer than the story itself. I told you you didn't have to read them. LOL!


End file.
